There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize