11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize