He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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