Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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