I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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