I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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