I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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