that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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