my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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