worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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