Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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