I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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