How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
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we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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