Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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