That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize