She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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