to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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