i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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