Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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