I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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