dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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