God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize