we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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