woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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