Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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