my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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