don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he thought i was a dude.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
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Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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