Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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