You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
third nipple confirmed
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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