My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
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I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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