My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize