so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize