he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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