I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize