Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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