It's like God shit irony all over that family
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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