whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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