You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize