I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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