anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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