his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize