You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize