I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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