i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize