Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize