i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
time to smoke my breakfast
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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