i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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