Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
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Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Come share oat with me in your robe
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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