I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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