She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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